* A womans brain is tied to her tongue!!*

* A womans brain is tied to her tongue!!*

نحن نؤمن أن التوفيق بيد الله سبحانه وحدة وأن كل شيء مقدر ومكتوب .. ولكن هناك
أسباب يجب الأخذ بها مع التوكل على الله

We believe that success is in the hands of Allah SWT and that everything has
been written and destined.. but there are actions that we must be doing
whilst having Tawakul on Allah SWT

وهنا أذكر لكم ما قالته عجوز وهي سيدة حكيمة يحبها زوجها كثيراً حتى أنه كان
يحلو له أن ينشد لها أبيات الحب والغرام وكلما تقدماً في السن ازداد حبهما
وسعادتهما .. وعندما سألت تلك المرأة عن سر سعادتها الدائمة

And I shall mention to you what an old lady, that was very wise and greatly
loved by her husband to a point where he loved to sing love poetry to her
and as they grew old their love and happiness grew with them, said when she
was asked about the secret to her enduring happiness.

قالت : الحصول على السعادة الزوجية بيد المرأة , فالمرأة تستطيع أن تجعل من
بيتها جنة وارفة الظلال أو جهنم مستعرة النيران .>
She Said: Attaining married life happiness is in the hands of the woman, for
she can make her house a living heaven or turn it into burning hell.

لا تقولي المال .. فكثير من النساء الغنيات تعيسات وهرب منهن أزواجهن

Dont say money for alot of rich women are miserable and have been deserted
by their husbands.

ولا تقولي الأولاد .. فهناك من النساء من أنجبن 10 صبيان وزوجها يهينها ولا
يحبها ويمكن أن يطلقها

And dont say children for there are alot of women with 10 boys, have
husbands insulting them, not loving them and will probably divorce them.

ولا تقولي طباخة .. لأن الكثير منهن ماهرات في الطبخ , فالواحدة منهن تطبخ طوال
النهار ومع ذلك تشكو سوء معاملة زوجها وقلة احترامه لها

And dont say cooking because alot of them are experts at cooking, the one of
them cooks all day and yet complains about the maltreatment of and lack of
respect by her husband.

* إذا ما هو السر ؟؟؟

So what is the secret?

* ماذا كنت تعملين عند حدوث المشاكل مع زوجك ؟؟؟

What did you do when problems ocured with your husband?

قالت : عندما يغضب ويثور زوجي – وقد كان عصبياً – كنت ألجأ إلى الصمت المطبق
بكل احترام .. إياك والصمت المصاحب لنظرة سخرية ولو بالعين لأن الرجل ذكي و
يفهمها

She said: When my husband gets angry and is in rage I used to resort to
respectful silence, beware of silence whilst ridiculing him with your look
for men are smart and get it.

* لم لا تخرجي من الغرفة ؟؟

Why dont you leave the room?

قالت : إياك أن تخرجي من الغرفة .. قد يظن أنك تهربين منه ولا تريدين سماعه ,
عليك بالصمت وموافقته على ما يقول . كنت انتظره حتى يهدأ ثم بعد ذلك أقول له
وبصوتٍ خافت : هل انتهيت؟ ثم أخرج لأنه سيتعب وبحاجة للراحة بعد الكلام والصراخ
.. أخرج من الغرفة لأكمل أعمالي المنزلية وشؤون أولادي وأحاول أن لا أتذكر غضبه
وحربه لي .. وسيظل هو بمفرده وقد أنهكته الحرب التي شنها علي

She said: Never leave the room, he will think you are running away and dont
want to listen to him, you must keep silent and agreeing to what he says. I
would wait for him until he cools down and then I would tell him in a gentle
voice: Are you done? then I leave because he will get tired and needs to
rest after the rage and shouting, I leave the room to complete my housework
and my children chores and I try not to remember his anger and assault on
me, he will remain by himself tired from the rage he has given me.

* ماذا تفعلين هل تلجئين إلى أسلوب المقاطعة فلا تكلمينه لمدة أيام أو أسبوع ؟

What do you then do, do you give him the silent treatment for a few days or
a week?

قالت : لا .. إياك وإتباع أسلوب المقاطعة .. لأنها عادة سيئة وهي سلاح ذو حدين
عندما تقاطعين زوجك أسبوعاً قد يكون ذلك صعباً عليه في البداية ويحاول أن يكلمك
ولكن مع الأيام سوف يتعود على ذلك وإن قاطعته أسبوع قاطعك أسبوعين.

She said: No, never give the silent treatment, its a bad habbit and is a
double bladed sword, when you boycott him for a week it would be difficult
on him in the beginning and he will try to speak to you but with time he
will get used to it so that if you boycott him for a week he will boycott
you for two.

عليك أن تعوديه على أنك الهواء الذي يستنشقه والماء الذي يشربه ولا يستغني عنه
.. كوني كالهواء الرقيق وإياك والريح الشديدة

You have to make him used to the fact that you are the air he breathes, the
water which he drinks and cant live without, be like a gentle breeze and
never like a strong wind.

* إذاً ماذا تفعلين بعد ذلك ؟؟

So what do you do afterwards?

بعد ساعتين أو أكثر .. أضع له كوباً من العصير أو فنجاناً من القهوة وأقول له
تفضل أشرب , لأنه فعلاً محتاج إليه وأكلمه بشكل عادي ... سيقوم بسؤالي هل أنتِ
غاضبة ؟؟ فأقول لا

After two hours or more, I give him a glass of juice or a cup of coffee and
tell him please drink, for he is really in need for it and I talk to him
normaly, he will ask me: are you angry? and I say No.

فيبدأ بالاعتذار عن كلامه القاسي ويسمعني الكلام الجميل

He starts to apologize for his harsh talk and starts sweet talking me.

* وهل تصدقين اعتذاره وكلامه الجميل؟؟

And you believe his apology and sweet talk?

طبعاً ... لأني أثق بنفسي ولست غبية ...!!!

Ofcourse, because I trust myself and because I am not stupid.

هل تريدين مني تصديق كلامه وهو غاضب وتكذيبه وهو هادئ ؟؟؟

You want me to believe his talk whilst he is in rage and disbelieve it
whilst he is calm?

إن الإسلام لا يقر طلاق الغاضب ... وهو طلاق!! فكيف ما حصل معي أنا؟؟؟

Islam has not approved divorce whilst in rage , and thats divorce! so what
about what happened to me?

* فقيل لها ... و كرامتك ؟؟

She was told: What about your dignity?

قالت : أي كرامة ؟

She said: What dignity?

كرامتك ألا تصدقي أي كلمة جارحة من إنسان غاضب

Your dignity is when you dont believe a harsh word from an angry person.

و أن تصدقي كلامه عندما يكون هادئاً

And to believe his talk when he is calm.

أسامحه فوراً لأني قد نسيت كل الشتائم وأدركت أهمية

.سماع الكلام المفيد

I forgive him immediately because I have forgotten all the foul language and
realized the importance of hearing beneficial talk

وباختصار ومما سبق يمكن أن أقول :

سر السعادة الزوجية عقل المرأة ومربط تلك السعادة لسانها
And to summarize the above I can say: The secret to a happy marriage is the
woman's brain and that happiness's knot is her tongue.

Advice to the Muslimah, Salafiyyah Sister from One Whose Husband Took on Another Wife'

Advice to the Muslimah,
Salafiyyah Sister from One
Whose Husband Took on
Another Wife'

الحمد لله وكفى ، والصلاة والسلام على النبي المصطفى
وبعد

فهذه نصيحة أخوية من القلب لمن تزوج عليها زوجها ،
أصارح بها الأخوات السلفيات الأثريات لعلها تتسلل إلى
العقول ، وتجد لها مكاناً في القلوب ، وتخفف عن النفس ذلك
الحزن والضيق ، بإذن الله عز وجل

First: Remember, O Wife, that this Life is Home of Tests, Trials, and Actions. So when you are tested with an infliction, or a disaster or tragedy befalls you, then be patient and content, and do not object the Wisdom of Allaah Azza wa Jall (Mighty and Majestic), nor His Decision nor His Decree, for indeed to Allaah belongs what He Gave and to Allaah belongs what He took.
And know that the test is a wordly practice (meaning, it always occurs), and that Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa (May He, the Most High, be Glorified), when He loves a people He tests them, and whoever He is pleased with will receive pleasure, and whoever makes Him angry will receive anger.

Second: Remember the protected Salafee sisters from the Mothers of the Believers, May Allaah be pleased with them, and those following them of the righteous female slaves, and comtemplate and closely examine their condition and their conditions, and how they accompanied the Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhe wa Sallam.
And know that you, however much you are a devout worshipper or not, you are not better than them, conditionally, nor in worship, may Allaah be pleased with them all.


Third: Remember patience and contentness and its reward, and that from the affairs of the Muslim is patience during trial, and that will raise you in status. As-Sabr (Patience) and Good Thoughts about Allaah Azza wa Jall is from the characteristics of al-Muttaqeen (the Pious), and they are two characteristics that are fitting for you to be keen about them in a condition like the one you are in.

Fourth: Remember the end result of anxiety, and displeasure about the Decision of Allaah and His Decree, and beware of the Anger of Allaah and sin, and refusing the Decision, and uttering words of anguish and disbelief. And do not give shaytaan a place in your heart or else he would scatter his poisons and increase animosity, disord, and enmity.

Fifth: Remember your evil deeds, call yourself to account, and learn lessons from this test that will help you with Obediance, Worship, Holding on to the Sunnah, Qiyaamul-Layl (the Superogatory Night prayers), Leaving bid'ah (innovations), and a lot of Tawbah (Repentance), Istighfaar (Seeking forgiveness), 'Inaabah (turning repentantly) and Tawakkal (Reliance upon Allaah).

Sixth: Remember that jealousy is a natural characteristic with the woman, but beware of transgressing the Islaamic Limit, and of undergoing malice and trials which divide the Muslim Homes and the Noble Family, and destroy the children.

Seventh: Remember your house, your sons, your daughters, your family, and your place, and beware of seeking divorce and hasty disconnection. So after this sacrifice, and this care and fatigue in building this family, the destruction due to an affliction that affected you?
Eighth: Remember the time and its blessings, and busy yourself with reading and memorizing al-Quraan, and preserving the Sunnah and the Books of Sharee'ah (Islaamic Law), and joining Salafee Sharee'ah knowledge courses, and presenting advice to the members of your house and your sisters, and take care of organizing and cleaning your house, and in protecting your children and raising them righteously Salafee.

والله أسأل الله أن يديم عليك نعمه ظاهرة وباطنة ، وأن
يحفظ لك بيتك وزوجك وأبنائك إنه ولي ذلك والقادر عليه
http://www.sahab.net/forums/showthread.php?t=338489