 | Guidelines for Raising Children | by Nasrin for everyone |
| Category: | Books |
| Genre: | Religion & Spirituality |
| Author: | Darussalam Research Division |
Code: 076
Price: $4.95 Convert to a different Currency
By: Darussalam Research Division
Pages: 55
Binding: Paperback
Size: 5.5×8" (14×20 cm)
ISBN: 9960-897-52-4 (9960897524)
Shipping Weight: 0.23 lbs
========================================================
I found this book while i was searching through the site to find some good books for a sister, and when i came upon this book and saw it was by the dar-us-salam research division, i was so happy, because i trust their research division work very much, and i was even more happy to see the PDF sample pages of this book that had content of the book and few pages of the book. [I finished the book today after magrib, alhamdulillah]
The content table of the book caught my heart, really, it was such that i just said, it is the book of my dream, everything i thought of about raising children are found in this book. Alhamdulillah.
Sadly, the PDF sample pages file's link is broken now but check it later, they might be updating the site: http://store.dar-us-salam.com/Eng_Women/076.html
This book is amazing, it starts with first giving advice to pick a righteous spouse and then it steps that one should take to make sure the child that is gifted to them would be saved from the touch of shaytan, and then it tells you about the rights of the baby before he/she is born and then the rights after the baby is born, from naming to aqeeqa, to tahneek etc.
and then it goes into the raising of children and educating them as they grow up and what they should be taught and what they should be kept away. and then it gives like a guideline for parents and teachers as to how they should teach kids and what they should teach them and how they should be good example for them.
and then it teaches you, how you should be good toward your parents so your kids will be likewise to you.
and then there was two advices that one should to kids, that were from surah luqman from luqman's advice to his son and the hadith # 19 of 40 hadith where prophet sallallahu alayhe wasallam teaches some words to ibn abbas.
HADITH 19
On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me: "Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
narrated by Termithi, who said it is true and fine hadith
In a version other than that of Tirmithi it reads:
"..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[031:013] And (remember) when Luqmân said to his son when he was advising him: "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allâh. Verily, joining others in worship with Allâh is a great Zûlm (wrong) indeed.
[031:014] And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destination.
[031:015] But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
[031:016] "O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily, Allâh is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Acquainted (with its place).
[031:017] "O my son! Aqim-is-Salât (perform prayers), enjoin (on people) Al-Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allâh, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments (ordered by Allâh with no exemption).
[031:018] "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allâh likes not any arrogant boaster.
[031:019] "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses."
-----------------------------------------------------------
some of the things that are to be taught to the children are:
- truthfulness
- tawheed & shirk
- warning against lying, cheating, ghiba, foul language
- respect for elders and scholars
- love for seeking knowledge
- respecting parents and being dutiful to them
-----------------------------------------------------------------
- teaching the boys their role from the young age so they grow up with strong personality and responsible
- teaching girls their role, so they grow up with modesty and shyness
---------------------------------------------------------------------
- separating the beds for children if possible, if not then give them separate sheet at least, it is better to have a room for girls and a room for boys
---------------------------------------------------------------------
This part is the most important matter to take care of in my opinion during the young age, which leads to many sins and corruptions. Many parents show no care and do not teach the kids about these matters at all.
page # 19:
Children at the age of ten to twenty grow physically faster than mentally. their desires respond to natural motivation without understanding the consequences of their spontaneous responses, nor are they able to control their desires unless Allah guards them.
it is for this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam instructed us to put them (boys and girls) in separate beds once they reached the age of ten. This calls for paying attention to the following points:
1. parents must make sure that none of their children should notice any form of conjugal contact between them lest they copy them.
2. separate male and female children according to the propeht's instructions.
3. children should never be allowed to watch provocative movies or shows. if one of them happens to see a thing of this nature, his parents should warn him against such a danger and remind him of Allah and His punishment for watching it.
4. parents should monitor their children' company and friends, and if they are a negative influence, they should keep them away from them, and should help them choose for them better friends.
This is a very serious matters, and many things take place and i even hard a case from a speaker in his lecture that he mentioned. and some parents allow kids to watch TV from the baby age as 1 or earlier such that by the time they are 4 or 5, maashaaAllah, they are so mature and adult and they talk with so much advance talk subhan Allah.
May Allah guide us and make us righteous parents and guardians and some parents fill their ears of babies with music. audhu billah.
--------------------------------------
Teaching good manners to the children from the very young age is very important as well.
The book ends with a very good summary and then it lists some ayat and ahadeeth related to raising kids and responsibility of this task.
Overall, this book is an excellent book, in 55 pages it contains for you wealth of knowledge that we should apply every single words from it. may Allah grant us tawpiq ameen.
May Allah grant us beneficial knowledge and righteous actions. Ameen
Price: $4.95 Convert to a different Currency
By: Darussalam Research Division
Pages: 55
Binding: Paperback
Size: 5.5×8" (14×20 cm)
ISBN: 9960-897-52-4 (9960897524)
Shipping Weight: 0.23 lbs
========================================================
I found this book while i was searching through the site to find some good books for a sister, and when i came upon this book and saw it was by the dar-us-salam research division, i was so happy, because i trust their research division work very much, and i was even more happy to see the PDF sample pages of this book that had content of the book and few pages of the book. [I finished the book today after magrib, alhamdulillah]
The content table of the book caught my heart, really, it was such that i just said, it is the book of my dream, everything i thought of about raising children are found in this book. Alhamdulillah.
Sadly, the PDF sample pages file's link is broken now but check it later, they might be updating the site: http://store.dar-us-salam.com/Eng_Women/076.html
This book is amazing, it starts with first giving advice to pick a righteous spouse and then it steps that one should take to make sure the child that is gifted to them would be saved from the touch of shaytan, and then it tells you about the rights of the baby before he/she is born and then the rights after the baby is born, from naming to aqeeqa, to tahneek etc.
and then it goes into the raising of children and educating them as they grow up and what they should be taught and what they should be kept away. and then it gives like a guideline for parents and teachers as to how they should teach kids and what they should teach them and how they should be good example for them.
and then it teaches you, how you should be good toward your parents so your kids will be likewise to you.
and then there was two advices that one should to kids, that were from surah luqman from luqman's advice to his son and the hadith # 19 of 40 hadith where prophet sallallahu alayhe wasallam teaches some words to ibn abbas.
HADITH 19
On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me: "Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
narrated by Termithi, who said it is true and fine hadith
In a version other than that of Tirmithi it reads:
"..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[031:013] And (remember) when Luqmân said to his son when he was advising him: "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allâh. Verily, joining others in worship with Allâh is a great Zûlm (wrong) indeed.
[031:014] And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destination.
[031:015] But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
[031:016] "O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily, Allâh is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Acquainted (with its place).
[031:017] "O my son! Aqim-is-Salât (perform prayers), enjoin (on people) Al-Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allâh, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments (ordered by Allâh with no exemption).
[031:018] "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allâh likes not any arrogant boaster.
[031:019] "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses."
-----------------------------------------------------------
some of the things that are to be taught to the children are:
- truthfulness
- tawheed & shirk
- warning against lying, cheating, ghiba, foul language
- respect for elders and scholars
- love for seeking knowledge
- respecting parents and being dutiful to them
-----------------------------------------------------------------
- teaching the boys their role from the young age so they grow up with strong personality and responsible
- teaching girls their role, so they grow up with modesty and shyness
---------------------------------------------------------------------
- separating the beds for children if possible, if not then give them separate sheet at least, it is better to have a room for girls and a room for boys
---------------------------------------------------------------------
This part is the most important matter to take care of in my opinion during the young age, which leads to many sins and corruptions. Many parents show no care and do not teach the kids about these matters at all.
page # 19:
Children at the age of ten to twenty grow physically faster than mentally. their desires respond to natural motivation without understanding the consequences of their spontaneous responses, nor are they able to control their desires unless Allah guards them.
it is for this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam instructed us to put them (boys and girls) in separate beds once they reached the age of ten. This calls for paying attention to the following points:
1. parents must make sure that none of their children should notice any form of conjugal contact between them lest they copy them.
2. separate male and female children according to the propeht's instructions.
3. children should never be allowed to watch provocative movies or shows. if one of them happens to see a thing of this nature, his parents should warn him against such a danger and remind him of Allah and His punishment for watching it.
4. parents should monitor their children' company and friends, and if they are a negative influence, they should keep them away from them, and should help them choose for them better friends.
This is a very serious matters, and many things take place and i even hard a case from a speaker in his lecture that he mentioned. and some parents allow kids to watch TV from the baby age as 1 or earlier such that by the time they are 4 or 5, maashaaAllah, they are so mature and adult and they talk with so much advance talk subhan Allah.
May Allah guide us and make us righteous parents and guardians and some parents fill their ears of babies with music. audhu billah.
--------------------------------------
Teaching good manners to the children from the very young age is very important as well.
The book ends with a very good summary and then it lists some ayat and ahadeeth related to raising kids and responsibility of this task.
Overall, this book is an excellent book, in 55 pages it contains for you wealth of knowledge that we should apply every single words from it. may Allah grant us tawpiq ameen.
May Allah grant us beneficial knowledge and righteous actions. Ameen
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