أدب الزمالة
The Etiquette of Companionship
احذر قرين السوء
Point 23. Beware of the bad companion
كما أن العرق دساس، فإن ”أدب السوء دساس”، إذ الطبيعة نقال
"Just as hereditary disposition is hidden,1 "bad characteristics are [also] hidden: 2 because character is transferable, and [first] impressions are major abductors of the hearts, and people are like the flocks of birds, naturally disposed to imitating one another; so beware of associating with whosoever is to this liking; for it is indeed destruction, and "prevention is (always) better than cure..."
وعليه، فتخير للزمالة والصداقة من يعينك على مطلبك، ويقربك إلى ربك ويوافقك على شريف غرضك ومقصدك وخذ تقسيم الصديق في أدق المعايير
صديق منفعة
صديق لذة
صديق فضيلة
"...Therefore, choose the best for companionship and friendship; someone who will help you in yourtalabah (quest), in drawing nearer to your Lord, and agrees with you in your noble objective and intention. Take [from me] the most precise gauge in categorizing friends:3
1. A friend who befriends you [solely] for his welfare.
2. A friend who befriends you [solely] for fun and entertainment.
3. A friend who befriends you for virtue..."
فالأولان منقطعان بانقطاع موجبهما، المنفعة في الأول واللذة في الثاني
"...As regards to the first two [categories of friends], then their [relationship] with you is cut off once the necessitating reason [for which they befriended you] is fulfilled: the attainment of welfare in the first and fun in the second..."
وأما الثالث فالتعويل عليه، وهو الذي باعث صداقته تبادل الاعتقاد في رسوخ الفضائل لدى كل منهما
"...As for the third category, then this is the one we will concentrate on. He is the one who is driven into a friendship due to mutual belief in the firm establishment of virtue in both people..."
وصديق الفضيلة هذا ”عمله صعبه” يعز الحصول عليها
ومن نفيس كلام هشام بن عبد الملك ”م سنة 125هـ”قوله
ما بقى من لذات الدنيا شئ إلا أخ أرفع مؤونة التحفظ بيني وبينه. أ هـ
ومن لطيف ما يفيد بعضهم
العزلة من غير عين العلم: زلة ومن غير زاي الزهد: علة
"...A companion of virtue today is "a hard currency" and difficult to find. Amongst the beautiful kalaam (sayings) of Hishaam bin 'Abdil-Maalik rahimahullaah (died 125 hijree) is his saying: "Nothing remains of the worldly pleasures except a brother [with] whom I raise the burden of taking precaution between me and him." 4
Amongst the delicate and subtle statements that should be noted are some that say:
" العزلة (al-'uzla, meaning "isolation" ) without the [letter] عين 'ayn from [the word] العلم al-'ilm, meaning "knowledge" becomes (in the Arabic language) زلة (zallah - a mistake), and without the [letter] زاي zaay from the word الزهد (zuhd,asceticism) becomes [in the Arabic language] علة('illa meaning "defect" )..."5
[Taken from Hilyata Taalibil-'Ilm by Shaykh al-'Allaamah Bakr Aboo Zaydrahimahullaahu ta'aalaa]
1And on this a fabricated hadeeth, see al-Ilal al-Mutanaahiyah, (2/123, 127), and Sharhul-Ihyaa'(5/348).
2Sharhul-Ihyaa' (1/74).
3Muhaadharaatul-Islaamiyyah by Muhammad al-Khidr Husayn (p.125-136). Also see Tadhkiratul-Saami’ wal-Mutakallim by Ibn Jamaa’ah.
Imaam Maalik bin Anas rahimahullaah said:
"Whoever does not love knowledge then there is no good in him. So there should not be any acquaintance between you and him, and nor any friendship."
[Imaam al-Kateeb al-Baghdaadee in his Al-Faqeeh wal-Mutafaqqih (vol. 1 pg. 15)]From Aboo Hurayrah radhiyallaahu 'anhu, who said, "The Messenger of Allaah said, "A person is upon the Deen of his friend. So let each one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend." [Reported by Ahmad (2/303), Aboo Daawood (no.4812) and at-Tirmidhee (no.2484).]
Abud-Dardaa' radhiyallaahu ta'aalaa 'anhu said,"From the fiqh (understanding) of a person is whom he chooses to walk with, enter upon and sit with."
Muhammad bin Seereen rahimahullaah said,"Indeed this ‘Ilm (knowledge) is the Deen (Religlion) so look and see from whom you are taking your religion." [Reported by Imaam Muslim in his introduction to his saheeh(1/15)]
Damarah bin Rabee’ah said,
"From ‘Abdullaah bin Shawdhab who said, "Verily, it is from the bounty/favor of Allaah upon a youth, that when he devotes himself to worship he befriends a righteous person of the Sunnah who teaches and carries him upon it..." and he also said,"Verily, it is from the happiness of a youth and non-Arab/foreigner that Allaah guides them to a Scholar from the people of Ahlus-Sunnah."[Reported by al-Laalikaa’ee (no.30) in his Sharh ‘Usoolul-I’tiqaad.]
4Tabaqaatun-Nassaabeen, (p.31)
5Al-'Uzlah by al-Khattaabee. What Shaykh al-'Allaamah Bakr Aboo Zayd rahimahullaah is emphasising is the importance of good companion, but if it is not possible to find one - as is the situation today unfortunately - then in this case he or she should islolate themselves from excessive mixing with the people, but bearing in mind that the two conditions of such isolation; The first condition is al-'Ilm (knowledge); because isolation only benefits the one with knowledge. The second condition is az-Zuhd, and without these two, isolation changes from being something which is beneficial to being something which is harmful. And by isolation it is meant, isolation from evil, seclusion from unnessary and aimless activities, because isolation opens the mind and isolates the worries and grief. If applied with a correct understanding, to remain in seclusion (remembering Allaah azza wa jalla) can be most beneficial.
Al-Khalaa'(the beneficial and legislative isolation) was something beloved to the Messenger of Allaahsallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam and was something which prepared him for the Wahiy (revealation) from Allaah jalla wa 'aalaa, as it is confirmed from the hadeeth of our beloved mother 'Aa'ishahradhiyallaahu ta'aalaa 'anhaa that, "The begining of the Wahiy (revealation)to Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam came in the form of Ru'yaas-Saalihah (good righteous (true) dreams) during the daytime which came true and clear like the brightness of the daylight, and then the love of seclusion was bestowed upon him. He used to go in seclusion in the cave of Hiraa' where he used to make at-Ta'bbud (worship to Allaah alone) continuosly for consecutive nights before returning home to his family..." [al-Bukhaaree (no.3)]
Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullaahu ta'aalaa said,
"It is necessary for the 'abd (servant) to be isolated from others at times for praying, remember Allaah, qira'atul-Qur'aan (reciting the Qur'aan) and evaluating himself and his actions. Also, isolation allows one to make du'aa (supplication), make istighfaar (seek forgiveness), stay away from evil, and so on."
Imaam Ibnul-Jawzee rahimahullaah dedicated three chapters of his well-known book Saydul-Khaatir, he says:
"I have not seen or heard of anything that brings repose, honor, and dignity like seclusion. It helps one to stay away from evil, it protects one's honor, and it saves time. It keeps one away from the jealous minded and those who take pleasure in your affliction. It calls for the dhikr (rememberance) of the 'Aakhirah (Hereafter) and it allows one to reflect on meeting with Allaah. In times of seclusion one's thoughts may roam in that which is beneficial, in that which contains wisdom."
Only Allaah knows the the full benefits of seclusion, for in seclusion, one's mind develops, views and ripened,the heart finds repose, and finds himself to be in an ideal atmosphere for 'ibaadah(worship). By remaining isolated at times, one distances oneself from fitan (trials), from flattering the person who doesn't deserve praise, and from eyes of the jealousy and envy. One is saved from the haughtiness of the arrogant and the follies and wickedness of the idiot. In isolation, one's faults, actions, and statements are all secluded behind a veil.
During periods of isolation, one is able to delve deep into the sea of ideas and concepts. In such a state, the mind is free to form its opinions. The soul, when in isolation is free to achieve a state of rapture, to hunt for stimulating thought. With alone, one does nothing for show or ostentation, since no one but Allaah sees him and no man can hear him except th All Hearing.
Every 'Aalim Rabbaanee (Scholar who has insight into tending to and directing the people, in so much as he raises them upon the small [simple matters] of knowledge before the large [complicated matters]), a genius, or great contributor to society watered the seeds of their greatness from the well of isolation, until the seed became a plant, and then finally, a formidable tree.
Al-Qadhee 'Alee bin 'Abdil-'Azeez al-Jurjaaneerahimahullaah said in his lines of poetry:
"I never tasted the sweetness of life until,
I became a companion of home and book,
There is nothing more honorable than knowledge,
So I seek in no other an associate,
Truly, the only degradation is in mixing with people,
Therefore leave them and live nobly and stately."
Another Arab poet said:
"I have found company in my solitude and I remain fervently in my home,
So felicity was perpetual for me and my happiness grew,
I have severed human relations and I couldn't care,
Did the army go forth or has the president given us a visit!"
Ahmad bin Khaleel al-Hanbalee rahimahullaahsaid in one of his poems:
"Whoever strives for dignity and comfort
From a long and tedious anxiety,
Let him be one of the people,
And be contented with little,
How can the person find pleasure in life?
As long as he lives unwholesomely,
Between being poked by the deceitful,
And giving flattery to the conceited,
Between tolerating the stingy,
Woe to becoming acquainted with people,
and with all of their ways and lewd behavior and foolishness."
Al-Humaydee al-Muhaddath rahimahullaah said,
"Meeting with people brings about no benefit,
Except with the increase of "qeela wa qaal (he say, she say)"
So decrease in conversing with others, though barring,
the seeking of knowledge or the improvement of one's condition."
Ibn Faaris rahimahullaah said:
"They asked how I was, and I said well,
A need is fulfilled and another is neglected,
When distress is such that my heart becomes crowded,
I say that perhaps one day will bring with it some help and asisstance,
My friend is my cat and my soul's companion are my books,
and the abject of my love is my night-lantern."
Imaam Sufyaan Ath-Thawree rahimahullaahu ta'aalaa (who died in 161 hijree) said,
"Hence you must take to the original affair, hold tight to it, and you should take to being unknown, for indeed this is the age to remain unknown. And take to remaining aloof, secluded, and associating little with the people, because when people used to meet, some of them would benefit the others. But as for today, then that has gone and in our view, salvation lies in abandoning them." [Related by Aboo Nu'aym in Al-Hilyah al-Awliyaa(6/356-7/144)]
It's also reported by Imaam adh-Dhahabee in his"As-Siyar A'laamin-Nubalaa (7/229 -257)" that Sufyaan ath-Thawree rahimahullaah said:
"Safety is that you don't desire to be known."
Al-Fudayl bin 'Iyaad rahimahullaah said:
"Whoever is saddened by loneliness and feels tranquil around the people, isn't safe from Riyaa."
[As-Siyaar (8/436)]He also said "Whoever loves to be mentioned will not be mentioned and whoever dislikes to be mentioned, then he will be mentioned." [As-Siyaar (8/432)]
From the poetry of Al-Jurjaanee 'Alee bin 'Abdil-'Azeez (d.392 hijree)
"They say there is some discomfort in you but in fact,
They saw a man who withdrew from the place of humiliation...
I saw that whoever draws nearer to people, would become insignificant to them.
And whosoever is honored by self-esteem will be honored. And if only the people of knowledge protected it, it would in turn have protected them.
And if they exalted it in the hearts of the people, it would have been exalted."
Aboo Sulaymaan al-Khattaabee rahimahullaahu ta'aalaa said: "Isolation benefits only the wise and scholars, and it is most dangerous to the ignorant person." [al-'Uzlah by al-Khattaabee (p.226).]
'Akhookum fillaah,
'Abdur-Rahmaan Aboo Ruqayyah bin 'Abdillaah (William) bin James Hayes
Al-Jumu'ah, 4th of Jamaadaa 'Uolaa, 1429 AH.
(Corresponding to Friday, May 09,2008
| "The Manner Of Companionship" -Point Of Benefit Taken From The Book Al-Hilyah by Shaykh Bakr Abee Zayd rahimahullaah- |
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